California Jokes
California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda

Dumb California Laws
# Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses.
# Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.
# Bathhouses are against the law.
# It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.
# Women may not drive in a house coat.
# No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour.
# Many animals are illegal to own as pets, including snails, sloths, and elephants.
# In an animal shelter, lizards and snakes are treated under the same guidelines as cats and dogs.
Arcadia
# Peacocks have the right of way to cross any street, including driveways.
Alhambra
# You cannot leave your car on the street overnight without the proper permit.
Baldwin Park
# Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.
Belvedere
# City Council order reads: "No dog shall be in a public place without its master on a leash."
Blythe
# You are not permitted to wear cowboy boots unless you already own at least two cows.
Burlingame
# It is illegal to spit, except on baseball diamonds.
Carmel
# Ice cream may not be eaten while standing on the sidewalk. (Repealed when Clint Eastwood was mayor)
# Women may not wear high heels while in the city limits.
Chico
# Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a $500 fine.
Downey
# It is illegal to wash your car in the street. (Passed 1995).
Hollywood
# It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time.
Lafayette
# You are forbidden to spit on the ground within 5 feet of another person.
Lodi
# It is illegal to own or sell "Silly String".
Lompoc
# It is illegal to posses, own or raise roosters. This is considered disturbing the peace.
Long Beach
# Cars are the only item allowed in a garage.
# It is illegal to curse on a mini-golf course.
Los Angeles
# It is illegal for a man to beat his wife with a strap wider than 2 inches without her consent.
# You cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time.
# You may not hunt moths under a street light.
# It is illegal to cry on the witness stand.
# Toads may not be licked.
# It is a crime for dogs to mate within 500 yards of a church. Breaking this law is punishable by a fine of $500 and/or six months in prison.
# Zoot suits are prohibited.
Ontario
# Roosters may not crow in the city limits.
Pacific Grove
# Molesting butterflies can result in a $500 fine.
Palm Springs
# It is illegal to walk a camel down Palm Canyon Drive between the hours of four and six PM.
Pasadena
# It is illegal for a secretary to be alone in a room with her boss.
Prunedale
# Two bathtubs may not be installed in the same house.
Redlands
# Motor vehicles may not drive on city streets unless a man with a lantern is wallking ahead of it.
Riverside
# One may not carry a lunch down the street between 11 and 1 o'clock.
San Diego
# It is illegal to shoot jackrabbits from the back of a streetcar.
# The owners of houses with Christmas lights on them past February second may be fined up to $250.
San Francisco
# Prohibits elephants from strolling down Market Street unless they are on a leash.
# It is illegal to wipe one's car with used underwear.
# Persons classified as "ugly" may not walk down any street.
# It is illegal to pile horse manure more than six feet high on a street corner.
San Jose
# It is illegal to have more than two cats or dogs. -Ord. 7.08.595
Santa Monica
# You may not play percussion instruments on the beach.
Temecula
# Ducks have the right of way to cross Rancho California St. at all times.