We lost our beloved 10 yr. old Golden Retriever, Samantha, two years ago. She never let on that she was ill. She had slowed down some in recent months, but we thought that it was due to her age. Anyway, she became obviously ill on a Friday, and we went to the vet. They did blood work and said that they would have results on Saturday. No results came back. She became worse on Sunday and we took her to an emergency clinic. They ran tests and said that she had lymphoma. She died two days later. We hadn't had time to absorb the fact that she was so seriously ill, before we lost her. We have two other wonderful and very much adored Goldens, yet, it is still difficult to think about or talk about Samantha, without being reduced to tears, even two years after her passing. Just writing this has me reaching for the tissue box. Is there anyone out there who is going through similar heartache...
I wrote this to comfort myself after the loss of my dear dog friend, Smokey. We lost him to cancer at age 11. I hope it comforts you.
I Am Your Friend
Bury me where the kiss of the morning sun first warms the grassy ground, Bury me where the moon’s magical glow filters first over treetops down, In a place where their light illuminates the resting place of your friend.
Bury me so that you will see the love I send you from my new place, Bury me so I will comfort you from sunrise and through the lonely night, Let me rest where you can see that I will always be your friend.
All my life I walked with you, my mission to be a constant by your side, Making each moment special with abiding care I could never hide, Now my pawsteps have fallen silent, yet their echo is still your friend.
I was a front seat rider, a tail wagger for every horse or cow I saw, A bark for dog or cat, a wiggle and smile for the gals in the next car. Could I have talked, I would have announced to all, “Come be my friend!”
Lay me to rest with my rug and toys, just put my water bowl away, Explain to my dogmate companion why I cannot tug-of war today. Tell her I’ve gone to help out God, for someone up there needs a friend.
And please, no tears as you wipe my nose prints from the window, Let the memories of our rides together keep you laughing as you go. For I lived every moment with you feeling joy to be your friend.
My mission is accomplished, for I was sent as a unique gift from God, To show you unconditional love, and to comfort you when life got hard. Close your eyes to see me, and you will remember your special friend.
My legacy is that I treated everyone with love, and you with precious care, That I smiled with joy and trust at strangers, erasing harried frowns, Ever willing to share my spirit, because I counted everyone a friend.
Dry your welling tears in the sunshine, hush your grief in the silent dark, For my soul still seeks to comfort you with the joy I left in your heart, When earth time’s over, I’ll be there in Heaven as your everlasting friend.
Good Morning, We experienced a similar loss but more recently. We lost our 11 yr old Caesar a Golden Retriever/German Shep. mix less than a month ago. He also had cancer with a rapid decline. His blood tests all came back with only one concern. None of which lead us to believe he had such a serious illness. It was only through a Vet exam that he found the tumors. I will miss him forever as he was my greatest companion and friend. He would assit you in whatever means possible whether it be picking stuff up off the floor, to opening doors, to bringing me his food bowel at dinner time. His bowel still sits where he left it as he fell ill on a Wednesday and was gone the following Tuesday. Being active on ebay has truly helped survive the loss. As I concentrate more on creating items to auction and sell. Spending time and directing my efforts towards my auctions has been a life saver. I will miss him forever as will his companion Sandy our 8 yr old White Shep. My heart goes out to you for your ongoing heartache. Bcreative
I understand your loss - I lost my best friend Dutchess many years ago. She was the sweetest German Shepherd and we learned a lot together. Because of her I am a dog trainer today. I have had several dogs over the years - but Dutchess will remain special in my heart forever. I think of her often and still miss her.
The dogs I have had since are all special in thier own way - but none will be Dutchess.
If you have not gotten a dog since you lost Samantha, you might want to consider doing so. There will be no replacing her, but there is always room to love another dog.
Now I need to reach for the tissue box, too.........
This is breaking my heart. Losing a dog is a life-altering experience. Part of my previous job was to counsel clients on euthanasia or to tell them if their pet had a life-threatening illness. It always almost severed me in two to watch the mourning begin.
Last June, my 14 year old Chocolate Lab Mix, Mare passed. I only adopted her about 4 years previously, but I still haven't gotten over it. I felt so much guilt, regret, and just the worst depression ever since. It took me so long to get off the couch. I had two other wonderful dogs then, my only motivation, and I soon after adopted another dog, but I can't get over it. I've had many pets die over the years, but I've never been able to convince myself of what I told clients, that I gave them the best I could, that they had a good life, that at least it was a quiet and peaceful passing, that it was nature's course. Some thing's are just closer to your heart than other's. i'll never forget the look in her eyes right before it ended. It was absolutely life-crushing. I'm afraid I'll never be the same.
Wow, that was a lot of information. Thanks for opening this discussion. I wish you luck in your recovery. You know Samantha would be devastated to see her best friend unhappy, and you know that tail is still wagging thinking of her family.
Wow, Lynn.....you really summed it all up....guilt, regret and depression. Guilt that we just didn't even realize that she was so ill, regret that I sometimes just didn't have the time to sit down and pet her or throw a ball for her, depression that we lost a true and lovely companion and we will never see her again. We, too, have other dogs whom we adore, but Sam is still so deeply missed... her life just ended all too soon. If I were to give any advice to a dog owner, it would be to take the time to give your wonderful canine friend that extra pat on the head, that belly scratch that they so love. Let them know what they truly mean to you while you can.
That's excellent advice. It makes me want to take time off and just do whatever my dogs want to do for several months! Wouldn't that be nice?
Again, I'm sorry about your loss, but you have a good strong heart, and it really is clear to an outsider that the lives of Samantha and your other dogs have never been short on love.
My vet says that we humans are the closest thing to being God that a dog knows, so that when it time to let them go, be as merciful as God would be.
I say that dogs are God's way of showing us what unconditional love is really like here on earth. If we really learn that we can rejoice and accept God's love unconditionally!
I just signed up with Neighborhoods tonight and the first item I read was losing your best friend. I too lost my Maddie, a golden retriever almost 3 years ago and I sit here crying as I read the posts and remembering her. She was 12 years old and except for her greying nose showed no signs of aging. Then about a month before she passed I noticed her slowing down, I work for a Vet and had a blood test run which showed an infection, he put her on antibotics and on a Friday I told him how she had stumbled outside and I had to steady her. My vet is also a animal chiropractor so he said to bring her in on Monday. Saturday evening she threw up her food and Sunday morning she went out to the kitchen and laid on the floor and lost her bowels. I was frantic and in between making phone calls to make an emergency trip I was comforting her. She laid there looking so sick and frail, I thought of some many pets that I had seen at the vet's office who had endured so much before their owners would make a peaceful decision but I knew that I couldn't bear to lose her. As I stroked her face it occured to me that she might just be hanging on for me. I asked if she wanted to go to Heaven and she actually wagged her tail. Crying, I told her she could go, that I released her, that I loved her and would always miss her, about ten minutes later she died in my arms. I now have several other dogs, none of which is a Golden because no one could ever compare to her and she is irreplaceable. I love my other rescue dogs but no one will be my Maddie. I take comfort in knowing that she waits in Heaven for me.
Oh, I read your poem Gail. It's very moving. I'm going to have to hang on to that one for the next difficult turn on the road if you don't mind. If only everyone realized as well as you, and others here, the absolute value of the unconditional love that dogs give us, this would be a much different world.
I have accomplished very little of the work I have to do today. I mean all I ever think about is canines really, but to talk to others about the obsession just plummets me into a frenzy of dog time!
And to Maddie's mom, or dad, that was a painful but important read. Take care!
I am so relieved to know that there are so many others who understand how heartwrenching it is to lose a dear pet. I sometimes thought that there was something wrong with me for mourning her loss the way that I have. You know, to some people, a dog is just a dog....
I just wanted to add also that we lost a dog a little over a year ago and I still cry sometimes when I think of him. He was a 12 year old Beagle who passed of bladder cancer. We do have another dog,and while she is sweetest dog we've ever had, she's not the same as our little guy - he was more like a person than a dog. He was such a comfort and had such personality! Never feel bad about crying over a dog - it's a natural response to grieving and there is never a timeline on the grieving process. And never listen to the line "he/she was JUST a dog"! They've never experienced the love a dog can give.
Hi- I just posted a reply to the Canine Epilepsy board before I read this. I have to tell you that tears are running down my face at this moment. My Golden Retriever, Arnie had canine epilepsy for her most of her life. Her meds helped for long periods of time, but then she would start another cycle of seizures, each being worse than the cycle before. In mid September I went to FL. to visit my oldest son and Arnie seemed to be doing great when I left, running and jumping about, trying to get into the car so she could go "bye bye". Then just before I was leaving to come home, my husband called to tell me that Arnie had gone into a seizure that she didn't come out of and she had to be put to sleep. This is the first time that I've cried since I got back home and I beginning to wonder if the tears are going to stop!
You guys have tears streaming down my face like rain. I'm so sorry for all of you because I know exactly how you feel. 11 1/2 years ago a friend gave me a 3/4 heeler, 1/4 Australian Shepherd puppy. Tillie began having epileptic seizures when she was 6 months old. I held her through almost every one. Finally my vet and a hollistic vet got her seizures under control and I had several wonderful years with my nutty dog. Fall of 06 she was diagnosed with bladder cancer and the vet told me I would know when the time was right. Valentine's Day this year, I tried to put it off, but I could see she was suffering, so I had her put to sleep. Everyone says I did the right thing, but I miss her so much. I have 2 Jack Russell Terriers also. When the male was a puppy, Tillie taught him to herd, and he then herded her - really ticked her off. My friend whose shoulder I cried on says you get one special dog, person, and horse in your life. I love the Jacks, but there is a big whole in my heart. I take comfort in the fact that I know Tillie is helping the man upstairs herd his cows. and boy those cows are in trouble!
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