I am a stay at home mom of 6 and homescooler. My oldest son is not doing well with his curric. I use abeka, I am considering sending him to public school next year. He is adhd and spends most of our days starting trouble and keeping my attention on him and away from his brothers/sisters. I am very frustrated and the hubby is no help, to ask him only starts a fight that ends with us not speaking to each other which is where we are.
good morning, I have some friends in our local homeschool group and their children are in the same situation. Most of them do not do well with abeka but have thrived using the Charlotte Mason method. Reading from whole "living" books, great literature, narration, copywork. I have a page on my site about Charlotte Mason. Math U See works well also, hands on approach.
I think what you need to ask yourself is if your son will do better in public school. Some children do thrive in the controlled, and structured setting that some public schools offer; but I would be concerned that if it's a less than stellar public school he will have more problems there than he has at home.
Hi I too have ADD and my children ADHD,public school was really not good for them ! My youngest son is doing much better homeschooling this last year than any year in public school.My older son did better on a no Corn diet than medication (just a thought I would throw out to you) Corn and corn by products can cause a reaction in people with ADD or ADHD that can make them even more uncontrolable.I agree that Charlotte mason is great because once your the one reading to the child it may not seem they are listening but they are ! You can even pick books that the whole family can learn from or one day a week each child gets a turn and picking a book for you to read ,Thats their special day ! Good luck ! please what ever you do dont send him to public school.
I am a homeschooling dad. Sorry to say this, but I think your biggest problem is your husband not being of help in this situation. If you have a strong willed boy you need to have your husband back you up. It practically doesn't matter what curriculum you use -- and public school might only cover up the problem (it might help like others have suggested to you).
We started homeschooliing our 13 year old son about 8 years ago because he had behavioral problems. Everyone told us we were nuts to HS. Too disorganized. The first few years almost killed us. My wife and I had fights before homeschooling, but when we started it got worse -- I would fly off the handle when she would ask for help because I felt scared about whether we were doing the right thing or not. I also had a messed up understanding of what education was for. The goal I had for my son was college, plus good job. Frankly I felt like I couldn't trust my wife when she would ask for help. I also didn't trust myself.
We joined two HS support groups about two years after we started. This made a world of difference! Over the course of 3-4 years my wife and I began communicating better and I changed my goal for my son's life. I now want him to get to heaven. This means liveing a good, moral life which includes learning for the sake of finding things out but also stresses making good choices, helping people, enjoying what life brings him, etc... Most importantly I began trying to trust my wife -- which was alot easier to do than I thought. I began to realize how much she was doing on her own and how badly she needed me to back her up. At the same time she was learning how to talk to me and bring me problems she was having and how to forgive me when I did get stressed and acting like a jerk. Before we joined the HS groups (one Christian and the other Catholic) we were on the verge of a divorce. It's been 14years since we married and we now have four children (13, 6, 4, and 2).
I don't really know what I can say to help. You can't make your husband change. I suggest you join a group that has lots of functions (potlucks, field trips, projects, church services, etc...). I began to meet other dads who I could see in action. They helped me see things differently. I also suggest a book called Homeschooling with Gentleness. It's about unschooling -- we don't unschool but we do try to keep things in perspective about the nature of learning in children which the unschoolers have discovered. I can also suggest Designing your own Classical Curriculum by Berquist. It may help you chose something besides abekka. Hope this helps.
Wow, moose.moose - loved reading your post. No, you can not change your husband nor is it your job. But, it should be both of your jobs to change your 'relationship'. Go on a date once a week - even if it is after all the kids go to bed. You two skip dinner - order a pizza and veg with eachother. If I were you...I would put my homeschooling on a break (which you may have this summer) and focus on your marriage. You NEED your husband during this venture of staying at home with your children and educating them. You need to be a team. I don't know if you are religous or not - but if you two will team up with God TOGETHER - you will be amazed at the results. Then, when you are ready to pick it back up - change your curriculum. Find something that 'he' (your child, not your husband :-)) enjoys doing - drawing, taking pictures, modeling with clay. And let him do this while you are teaching your other children - while he's preoccupied. Let your hair down and relax. This is supposed to be fun and carefree. You take it easy and you will be amazed at what you can get done. Yes I know, it is easier said than done. I have to remotivate myself from time to time. My heart goes out to you. But, you CAN do this.
I grew up with a brother who has ADHD and the thing that helped my parents deal with him was counceling not only for him but for themselfs too. They know how to deal with these problems and can give you loads of advise on situations and how to handle them. Public school only makes it worse he will be in constant trouble and made fun of all the time. My brother never graduated high school and it is sad because they wouldn't take the time to help him!
Hi. We have five children and have homeschooled one or all of them for the last 9 years. This year we have our three older boys in a small rural school and we still have our two younger girls at home. I feel that children who struggle with their attention do not need to be in public school. For the most part, public school tries to fit children into the same mold. I do not recommend a beka for your son, because it has a lot of seat work. What are some things he is interested in? Having something to do that interests him might make him more willing to do his work. We use mostly Bob Jones, but like A Beka, it has quite a bit of seat work. I like Sonlight, which is literature based. You son might also like unit studies, because each unit has something new and fresh. You can order unit studies, or create your own with about any topic... trains, insects, pioneers, etc. Missionary adventure books can be fun reading because they are exciting and teach us to think of others. Missionaries Nate Saint and George Mueller are good to read about. Also, there is a book of short stories that I believe is titled Ten Boys Who Made a Difference. Also, field trips are great fun and active learning experiences. Do you have any pets? My oldest son did a project last year about Labrador Retrievers, which is the kind of dogs we have. He used the computer and encyclopedia to find interesting facts and photos and then printed them out to make a poster. He also took a picture of our pets to include. He then shared what he learned. He really enjoyed this. There are so many different choices for how to homeschool. I hope this gives you some helpful ideas. Thanks, Tammy
)
)
)
)
