I got to take a well deserved break this spring courtesy of my local police department. I'm not what you would call a trendy guy, so tell me if I am wrong about this. Poeple who cannot figure out how to put a hat on straight need to be slapped around a little. So, when a brilliant young man with a crooked hat at a convenience store called me a "punk a$$ mohican", I calmly walked over to him and slapped the crooked hat off of his head. I then proceeded to give him an honorary Doc Marten stamp on his forehead. I was arrested for assault and battery. Am I a bad guy, or am I just missing the point of thee whole crooked hat thing?